On the Current Underneath

Sensuality was never about desire, whatever the perfume adverts want you to believe. It's what desire moves through — your own aliveness, felt privately, without needing anyone else to confirm it's real, which is far harder than it sounds once you've spent a life being looked at rather than asked. Lose that current and every decision starts arriving as panic instead of instinct, because nothing is holding you steady anymore except whichever opinion reached you first, and opinion has never once had good timing. Say the true thing once — softly, alone, to your own reflection if that's what it takes — and feel how much of that panic was only the sound of something unspoken finally being allowed to leave you. The rest settles on its own. The soul is generous that way, once you stop lying to it.

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